God Answered, "No"

How do you move on after you've prayed for something so hard and God answers, “no” to your request? I have been faced with that reality several times in the past, but more so, most recently with the death of my friend and sister, Veronica Turner. I realized that after her death that I had not actually thought that she would die. I just knew that God would answer my prayer to heal her body in order that she could remain here with us and especially for her daughter. But His answer was much different than I had anticipated. He took her to be with Him, where she would not have to deal with this cruel world any longer.

The last time I remember praying so fervently was when I had my first born son. I prayed so hard that he would be OK after his delivery, that I actually had no thought that he would actually not survive even though the reality of his critical condition was clear. It was like everyone around me understood the inevitable, while I was living in a fantasy. I knew my baby would be fine, but when God answered “no” and took my baby boy to Heaven to be with Him, I was heartbroken and angry with God for all of a sudden turning His back on me and doing other than what I had requested of Him. It was like a cruel joke that I was not ready to receive.

Have you ever truly had faith in God about a situation and His answer turned out to be something other than what you prayed for? It is truly hard to accept His answer even though you know that God knows what He is doing. After the shock wears off and you start to come to terms with what has taken place, you begin to realize that more than likely, your prayer was selfish. This is how I see my past prayers. I wanted my sister/ friend to stay here so that I would be happy and not have to go through the pain. I never considered all of the pain that she would have to go through in order just to live. Even with my baby, he was so early; he would have had a difficult, painful life, at best. It is no wonder God didn't listen to me. I am just a mere human who looks at things completely differently than God looks at things. I am so glad that He is God and He makes no mistakes. I am so glad that He alone makes those tough decisions.

Even though it is tough living without them, I know God has created in me a strength to endure these painful times. He has taught me about endurance and given me a special ability to help others through such trials of life. Without these types of situations in life, I would not be equipped to help another sister along life’s journey. I am who I am today because of God’s No’s. God’s No’s have developed character in a number of us! We have learned that we can make it through a lot more than we thought we could before His answer of No.

God, thank you for saying, “No,” to me. It has created a faith in You and Your Heart within me that would have never been developed without You having said, “No.” Your grace is sufficient!