My Father’s Princess

“Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4)

My mother passed away when I was 2 years old. I grew up the youngest of 14 children. I seemed to always get lost in the shuffle of everything that was going on in the family from fights to grandkids. I always sought the attention of my father. He was a hardball. He believed that children were to be seen and not heard.

I learned that I should feel the pain and never say anything. I was always afraid to say how I felt for fear of a good beating or, because I felt that way, the people that I was speaking against would hate me for saying what I truly thought or felt. It seemed as if God hated me for some reason to allow me to go through what I was going through as a child. I had lost my mother and I was living in a house with a dysfunctional family. I wondered what I had done to deserve such a life. I wondered why I was not loved and if I would ever be loved. I hated my life and I did not want to live in it another second.

Because I could not get the attention and love that I needed and wanted from my father, I sought out father figures who would provide the love that I was not receiving at home. It was never in a sexual manner that I sought love and attention, but in a true fatherly way. I often found myself attached to ministers in the body of Christ to help to steer me in the right direction. These men of God were always there when I called. They stood for me, they talked with me, and they corrected me when I needed to be corrected and they applauded my accomplishments and helped me make the right decisions when needed. I thank God for these men who were there for me to help me along life’s highway. I thank God that they still continue to be a present part of my life and my family’s life.

You see, I have found that I had a Father beside me the whole time and that these men of God were simply God’s way of providing loving father figures here in the physical realm. God was there providing for me the entire time! God was there giving me exactly what I needed to survive life at home! He walked with me and He carried me often. His love is the love that won’t let me go! My Abba Father, the only Father that I will ever need; He is my true Father. I have fallen so in love with my Father and I fight for Him and I work hard to live up to His expectations, because I want Him to be proud of me. I am His princess!!! His little girl…

I assure you that as you go through life and you hit walls and you fall down and you are hurt by others, God is actually there standing with you, if only you pray and ask Him to stand with you and carry you through life’s countless moments. I’ve tried Him and He has proved Himself faithful time after time! Oh, how precious is the name of Jesus!!! Delight yourself in the Lord!!! Don’t allow life’s circumstances to steal your joy! Allow God to be your FULL pleasure and He will give you the desires of your heart!

For Such a Time as This!!!

The book of Esther is full of God showing his grace and mercy to his people. This book has truly made me think about how God moves in order that He, in the end, may be glorified and I be brought to humble submission to His will. As I think about the things that I have gone through in the past year, I realize that God has some greater purpose for my life that I just can’t understand nor put into context right now; therefore, I must trust Him only.

Esther was brought to the king’s palace to be in a position to help to save the Jews from certain death because of the plot put into action by the mean Haman. Esther 4:14 ¹⁴ For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” I continue to wonder why I was brought here to the great state of Maryland.

We often look at things through human eyes and identify topical evidence, but I choose to look at things through spiritual eyes. Through my human understanding, I see that I am here to teach school, but through my spiritual understanding I can see that God has greater plans. I can see that God is up to something and the mere thought of Him allowing me to be a part of His plan to save souls and to strengthen His church simply makes me humbled, yet excited. I ask myself, “Have you been brought here for such a time as this?” Yet, I am unsure of what “time” God is preparing me for, but I am sure that God will show me as I only continue in His way and trust Him.

Have you ever been put in a situation by God that you were not quite sure of? You could not quite figure out why you ended up where you were? You knew that you were there for fleshly reasons, but you were sure that God had you there for spiritual reasons? We all know that, “the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep His commandments.” (Eccl. 12:13) So, as this being the reason for life, I can only conclude that each move He makes in my life is for this purpose! Oh, what a mighty God we serve!

The Lord's Answer (cont.)

Yes, was my answer! I definitely wanted the position. I had about three weeks to find a place and move to Maryland. Once I was here, I had new teacher training and all kinds of things to do. I was stressed and frustrated with some of the things going on in my world. I missed my family and I just wanted us all back together again!



The first Sunday that I was here, I visited the Capital Church of Christ in Annapolis, MD. I had a wonderful time! I met the minister's wife  and she and other sisters at the congregation welcomed me and they asked why I had moved to the area and I told them because of a job opportunity. They asked which school I would be teaching at and I told them. They asked me why I had chosen Annapolis. I told them that I actually did not remember applying here. Well, at that time the minister's wife told me to hold my thought. I wondered what she was doing. She walked across to the other side of the building and came back hand in hand with another sister. She introduced us. Let's call her Mrs. L. She asked me to tell the sister what I had just told them about not knowing when I had applied. I told her that I did not remember when I had applied here. Mrs. L. said "I remember exactly when you applied! It was three years ago!" So, now, I was perplexed, because I did not know who she was. She said, "Yes, I know you don't know who I am, but I am the principal's secretary and I held on to your application for three years. I don't know why I held on to your application, but something would not let me throw it away. She said, "Usually, I throw away all resumes once hiring is over for the year, but I could not throw yours away. We even moved from our old building and I took your resume and put it in a file and brought it over with me. When the position became available, I immediately slid your resume to the principal and he called you!"

I was floored! I could do nothing but cry! All I could think of was all of the days I cried and prayed for a position that would pay me what I am worth! I thought of all of the hard work and all of the things I went through with Georgia and my certification. I said, "You mean all of this time He has been working it out!?" You know I knew that he had been working it out the entire time, but just to see and hear the way He had worked it out is sometimes unheard of! God had my back then and still has my back now! He knows what I need and He is still working things for my good! On Thursday, December 13, 2012, I was finally certified as an administrator. It has been a long road! I completed my Ed. Specialist and I took the GACE, Georgia teacher's assessment, and passed and was still denied my administrator certification, because my degree was gained from a school outside of the state of Georgia.

I am just thrilled and praising God! I know that He has something for me and I just am so excited to see what's next on this life's journey! I KNOW that He has already worked that out, as well. I feel like I am opening up a present layer by layer! I just have to wait until I get to a certain point to get my blessing!

I love you Lord! You have my heart! You alone are my heart's desire!!!

The Lord's Answer

This year has been full of ups and downs and it has caused me to love God even more. Some of things that I went through this year at times made me want to give up, but I remembered the word of God which told me to keep the faith. The race is not given to the swift nor to the strong but to the one who endures until the end. I can’t say that it has been easy, because it has not, but I know that God has great things for those who wait upon Him.

At the beginning of the year, my employment was in great jeopardy. Our school was closing and my emotions were going crazy, because these people had become family to me! We had gone through five years of trying to make things work. Our students were our babies. We protected them with our being. We prayed and we fasted and asked the Lord to protect our school and allow us to stay open, but His answer was, “No.” In early June, our school was closed and our hearts were broken. We said our good-byes and left our love with those kids and each other. I had no idea what would happen to my family as I started to look for work that summer for the following school year.

All summer I searched and went on interviews in the Atlanta area. Most interviews were great and most seemed would be my job. Everyone was praying for me as I went from school to school to interview. I was prayerful and hopeful each time as I left the schools and waited for the phone call that would give me a foundation for the next school year, but that phone call never came.

One morning in early July, I got up ready to take the kids to the pool and I noticed that a message had been left on my phone at approximately 7:30 AM. I listened to the message and there was a principal from Annapolis, MD saying that he wanted to speak with me concerning a position at his school. I was confused, because I could not remember applying for a position in Maryland. I called him back and he asked if I was still interested and I told him that I was. He asked when I would be available to interview, but before he got those words out of his mouth he said, “Wait, you’re still in Georgia, aren’t you?” I told him that I was and he said that he needed to get this interview process done in the next couple of days, because he wanted to start his vacation. He then said, “Well, there’s nothing that says that you can’t do the interview over the phone and there's nothing you can tell me in person that you can't tell me over the phone.” He asked if Monday would be OK and I told him that it would be. He asked if 9:00 AM would work fine for me and I told him that it would. We interviewed that Monday and he told me that he would be in contact with me in the next couple of days to let me know if I had the job. He called me the next morning and told me that I had the position if I wanted it.

AND THEN CAME THE WORK!!!

The story continues next week…

Jesus Cares!

I will share what my sister said to me... I told her that I was tired of giving so much of myself to people who don't care!  She said, "That's what Jesus did!" I said, "I mean, I care more about them than they care about themselves!" She said, "So does Jesus!" I said, "They don't even care about me and what I do for them to be better!" She said, "Jesus does!"