My Father’s Princess

“Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4)

My mother passed away when I was 2 years old. I grew up the youngest of 14 children. I seemed to always get lost in the shuffle of everything that was going on in the family from fights to grandkids. I always sought the attention of my father. He was a hardball. He believed that children were to be seen and not heard.

I learned that I should feel the pain and never say anything. I was always afraid to say how I felt for fear of a good beating or, because I felt that way, the people that I was speaking against would hate me for saying what I truly thought or felt. It seemed as if God hated me for some reason to allow me to go through what I was going through as a child. I had lost my mother and I was living in a house with a dysfunctional family. I wondered what I had done to deserve such a life. I wondered why I was not loved and if I would ever be loved. I hated my life and I did not want to live in it another second.

Because I could not get the attention and love that I needed and wanted from my father, I sought out father figures who would provide the love that I was not receiving at home. It was never in a sexual manner that I sought love and attention, but in a true fatherly way. I often found myself attached to ministers in the body of Christ to help to steer me in the right direction. These men of God were always there when I called. They stood for me, they talked with me, and they corrected me when I needed to be corrected and they applauded my accomplishments and helped me make the right decisions when needed. I thank God for these men who were there for me to help me along life’s highway. I thank God that they still continue to be a present part of my life and my family’s life.

You see, I have found that I had a Father beside me the whole time and that these men of God were simply God’s way of providing loving father figures here in the physical realm. God was there providing for me the entire time! God was there giving me exactly what I needed to survive life at home! He walked with me and He carried me often. His love is the love that won’t let me go! My Abba Father, the only Father that I will ever need; He is my true Father. I have fallen so in love with my Father and I fight for Him and I work hard to live up to His expectations, because I want Him to be proud of me. I am His princess!!! His little girl…

I assure you that as you go through life and you hit walls and you fall down and you are hurt by others, God is actually there standing with you, if only you pray and ask Him to stand with you and carry you through life’s countless moments. I’ve tried Him and He has proved Himself faithful time after time! Oh, how precious is the name of Jesus!!! Delight yourself in the Lord!!! Don’t allow life’s circumstances to steal your joy! Allow God to be your FULL pleasure and He will give you the desires of your heart!